Laying in a comfortable bed, staring your ceiling without blinking feels like sleeping but your eyes were open. Wants to modify past and present but you can’t, thinking life would be better if I’m gone and life could be better if I choose good stuff to be done, but it’s too late. People choose their lives to lived, everything is in our hands, how we deal with people and on how we understand the world that were living.
Asking why life is unfair, everything is unfair, all we wish for is to become happy, to love and to be loved not just from a man but from a family, a home. They build a shelter, but it feels like your not belong. You wanted to go up, but they are dragging you down. Everything you’ve done is a mess in their eyes, you are disgusting like a mud that they want to avoid. Your eyes were open, but you wanted to open it more to realize things, what’s the reason behind this dream that you kept on dreaming since you decided to go out in the womb of your mother. What’s the reason of living if you yourself doesn’t have any idea about the purpose of life. You were actually blind deep inside, it was dark, you are trying to light your torch one by one, but the strong wind of gossips and judgement blew the light. You start again to build the torch and light it, you are trying to be brave, but it was a lie, you keep on lying yourself that you are strong, but you were actually fragile like a doll. A brittle creature that can turned you into tiny fragments.
You’ve trusted many people with all of your heart and it is sacrificing your heart, you put it the center of their palms and you give them the power to crash it. They have the power broke your heart into a tiny pieces and they can stop you from breathing.
Laying in the comfortable bed, staring your ceiling without blinking feels like sleeping, but your eyes were open and tears keep on falling because your ears reminds your mind and heart the words that can change you emotionally. You are hypnotized.
” You are floating in the deepest ocean carrying a tons of pain that your body wants to go down and be drowned, but you can’t because there’s a million reasons in life that pulling up you to lived.”